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“Anonymous” - Comedy Gold Survey on Monero (XMR)
Testimonials “Not enough trolling” - nanoakron, XMR Contributor “you are so obviously a shill” - ButtBazaar, in comments on the ETH survey “Wow.” - jstolfi, in reply to the ETH survey Survey ID: 00002 Coin: Monero (XMR) Client: jwinterm Executive Summary Monero is a leading privacy-oriented cryptocurrency. It was originally forked from Bytecoin which introduced Cryptonote, and whose launch was so bad they needed another chance to get it wrong. After their launch, they were a proving ground for Bytecoin exploits. Since then, Monero has become the leader in Cryptonote comedy gold, surpassing Bytecoin. Its future promises exciting drug market comedy gold, while the development team is a zoo of likely furries. 6 Top Comedy Gold Veins
Slow development - Likely due to the amount of time spent yiffing, “nice-to-have” extras like a GUI take a while to be released. After more than two years since at least one possible design for multisig in Cryptonote (curiously enough, from a paper co-authored by Gmax), multisig is still not in Monero yet, although still in development.
Launch issues - Launched because of complaints that the Bytecoin launch was unfair (i.e., not announced on Bitcointalk), Monero launched after about a week’s notice without an overabundance of communication from its founder. It released without 32-bit support, without a GUI, and without a mac client which according to BCT trollscritics is functionally equivalent to a premine.
Fenty - Monero is poised to take a commanding lead in the drug markets because of its combination of market share and stronger privacy commitment. Fent is known to be the leader in comedy gold potential for drug markets. Someday, there will be a major incident linked to a fent shipment arranged by a cryptocurrency. If that’s Monero, the fallout could be substantial.
Bleeding Edge: Monero started out as a clonecoin, a relaunch of Bytecoin, the first CryptoNote coin. However, it is in a position which is I think unique, or at least quite rare: despite starting as the clone, it is now leading the original upstream in market cap. Further, as a result CryptoNote / Bytecoin exploits have been demonstrated first on Monero. Monero has also developed its codebase such that it could not directly import upstream easily like most clonecoins could. Like all of the bleeding edge cryptocurrencies, Monero may produce more comedy gold from bugs being exploited on the chain.
51% / miner attack: Monero has had at some points large concentration in mining. As with most if not all cryptocurrencies, this centralization can lead to miners having significant control over a coin. So far, there doesn’t seem to have been any direct impact on Monero from this, and there may not be any effect. But Bitcoin and Ethereum have both had issues relating to functional centralization in mining in one way or another. Monero could as well. If anything does develop here, the popcorn futures could be explosive.
A brief history of comedy gold in Monero
There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
- Anonymous (from this page of anonymous quotes) In the beginning there was Bytecoin. Of course, the original bytecoin was actually just a basic BTC clonecoin. And I think there was at least one other Bytecoin not the one we’re talking about here, since deceased as well. And when exactly this Bytecoin started is a matter of no little dispute. But, whenever it was, it was. By the time it was “discovered” and posted on BCT, about 80% of the total supply had been mined. Regardless of what exactly led to this, there were many in the cryptocurrency community on BCT who wanted a relaunch to use the tech without having to buy into the existing distribution. Then came “bitMonero” (first reference BCT ANN). Launched on relatively short notice, with a de-optimized miner inherited from upstream, no mac client, without 32bit support, and without a GUI. The original developer of the bitMonero fork, thankful_for_today (TFT), supported the network through an initial bug inherited from upstream [ 1 ]. TFT disappears from the thread for a while, and some of the community pull together to make a sort of rebranding, changing to “Monero”, making a new ANN (second BCT ANN listed in references) and forming a new team to run the coin. In the meantime, TFT made another Cryptonote based coin, Fantomcoin, but TFT continued to try bitMonero development as well , before finally abandoning the attempt again. And then the coin gets pretty boring. There’s a potentially serious issue revealed  which was inherited from Cryptonote and potentially even a deliberate backdoor left in, but the fix is in pretty quick and the ecosystem is small enough there’s not really an opportunity to exploit it further. While development is slow, the coin continues to work and move on. The coin gets adopted on one of the darknet markets in 2016, and around the same period it sees a surge in market price. While there is potential for comedy gold fallout from this, there hasn’t been anything obvious so far that I’ve seen. Researcher’s Narrative: After wrapping up the ETH survey, I put up the new $5 survey special sign and settled in with a bottle of cheap vodka to contemplate deep questions like how I got here, where I’m going, and why the ground is swaying like that. By the time I woke up, the bottle was empty, but there was a $5 bill slipped under the door with a note which read “Monero?” After only a few short hours of pondering the note and where the vodka had gone, I knew what I had to do next. A dark night in a world that never sleeps and knows how to keep its secrets...But on the 12th Floor of the Acme Building, one man is still trying to find the answers to life's persistent questions: Guy Noir, drunken sotprivate comedy gold surveyor. Thanks Narrator. Although I can do without the judgemental commentary. At least I struck it out. I’ll strike you out! But this is going even more off-course than usual. I should really make at least a token effort to do my job. So off I go to the furriest corner of cryptocurrency, and I ask the Monerons what they think their greatest weaknesses are. A rather clever move, if I do say so myself, as they’ll either do much of my job for me, or they’ll say they are entirely without fault and thus provide me with more fodder about how unselfaware they are! They rather surprise me by providing solid responses, with only a rather token “we’re flawless!” attitude to be found. This actually makes my job somewhat harder, as now I have to try to figure out whether the seeming lack of major flaws is a result of such a biased “research” method, general laziness, or being co-opted by actually enjoying the community. So I take the only logical route and go on a weeklong acid binge. At the end, I realize I’m an insignificant mote in an uncaring universe where humanity itself is an unnoticed blip. The futility of civilization and life itself is obvious. After some further reflection aided by bottles and pipes, as well as overdue bill notices, I realize that while all of this is true, none of it is relevant, and my foggy mind is further from any useful answers than when I started. Disclosure of biases: I was hired to write this article with $5 in BTC from jwinterm who is a participant in Monero. In the thread where I asked Monerons what their greatest weaknesses are, I learned a bit about their development process and decided I wanted to pitch my services to them. This has unquestionably made me biased. However, I did do my best to try to figure out where the critical flaw was to maximize the comedy gold yield. In coming up short, I’m not sure whether I’ve missed flaws or simply blinded myself to them. I know there are additional paths to find more comedy gold. I should ask the Bytecoin community what they think of Monero. And DASH and etc. to try to find all of its critics. But this piece must stand as simply an initial survey and I must move on to my next step. References
[ ] https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=563821.msg6147116#msg6147116 - states rationale for not using Bytecoin rather than Monero (presented as Bytecoin clonecoin at this point) as being “Also the fact that cryptonote/bytecoin was hidden deep for the last few years and was being mined by a "big" unknown community the fork would give people a fair start on this new technology.”
[ ] https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=563821.msg6286990#msg6286990 - Johnny Mnemonic, “There may be no pre-mine, but not a single step was taken to make this coin any more accessible than BCN. An easy GUI miner is super critical for early adoption, as is a cross-platform wallet that can be used out of the box. So now the only miners are the same few people willing to fuss around in the command line.”
[ ] https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=563821.msg6300505#msg6300505 - “The problem is in block generation code. In one of last updates in Bytecoin there was a bug introduced: it calculates extra-size penalty the wrong way. As a result we see that a mined block isn't accepted by the network. I will consume the big transaction now into correct block. As soon as network accepts this block I will release new mining code to git.”
[ ] https://coinmarketcap.com/currencies/fantomcoin/ - Fantomcoin, merged mining cryptonote coin. Gets mentioned in BCT XMR thread since the cryptonote world is relatively small, with Bytecoin being the other one I know, and the reference implementation which isn’t actually a coin. (Subsequent to writing this learned about other ones, and learned Fantomcoin was created by TFT (original creator of BMR which was rebranded to XMR))
[ ] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7765455 - nullc on zerocash vs bytecoin; “(And come on, I'm not usually one to lean on authority— but you ought to believe /me/ when I say it's not copying Bitcoin and that it's doing something very useful and interesting for cryptographic privacy)”
[ ] https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=583449.14980 bookmark at page 750 in case computer crashes before I’m back from smoke break; actually an interesting page; all about talking about changing the emission rate and what is fundamental and unchangeable and who needs to approve changes. Very core cryptocurrency discussion.
Should there be a small perpetual debasement (3-5%)? This is important to keep wealth evenly distributed and to always keep block rewards high enough to incentivize miners. It also serves as a check and balance to prevent centralization from within the network.
Either no transaction fees ever, or fixed transaction fees (0.01% no matter what). Otherwise run the risk of escalating fees.
Should there be a slower minting process? Bytecoin isn't even 2 years old and over 80% of its coins have been mined. If there was a good reason for this, I'd love to hear it.
Should we limit pool sizes, to prevent large pools from taking too much network power?
Must include a cross platform GUI miner out of the box that is super easy to use (think minergate, but open source, and for win/mac/linux). Should rapidly increase early adoption.
-275: "Adam Back is famous figure in cryptography and Bitcoin’s world and he began in 90s before Satoshi. And looks as he knows about Cryptonote a long-long time." (https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=512747.msg6141617#msg6141617) -285: "i don't support this idea with forking. we are free to do it, but should we? adam back said every cryptocoin "need a reason for existence; but to make you rich is not a reason" the fact that we are a little bit late to this train is not a reason at all too. cause there will always be somebody who is late." [abit2slo questions the wisdom of the impending fork] (https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=512747.msg6146155#msg6146155) -286: "The question is whether there actually is a train. If it is just a few people holding the existing coins but no real development of a market, that is nothing but a preminel which is the worst case of 'to make you rich.' If the coin actually has significant adoption, value and usage (even if not apparent right now), then I agree with what you said." [smooth counters] (https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=512747.msg6146256#msg6146256) -288: "Showing up late is one thing -- most people on this forum were "late" to BTC relative to its 5-year history. But this wasn't even made available to the general public until 80% of the supply was mined. That's qualitatively different and delegitimizes it in my eyes. It's also just plain bad for market confidence because the history is unknown." [eizh chimes in as well] (https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=512747.msg6146313#msg6146313) -291: "Hi! Here is an announcement of new currency based on CryptoNote with a list of things (still incomplete) I plan to change: https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=563821.0 Welcome to discuss." [thankful_for_today makes plans to launch bitmonero, intended to be a fair fork of Bytecoin that restarts the mining rewards at the genesis block] (https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=512747.msg6146717#msg6146717) Whew! That's not all that's worth seeing in that thread. I just highlighted some of the most important comments from the first 300, but I surely missed a few. Also, I know that important discussion continued to take place after that as well. Those excerpts only took us to page 15 in the topic and as of writing there are 234 (!!) pages of Bytecoin history to sift through. The main takeaways should be this though:
Cryptonote came out of nowhere in the beginning of 2014, by way of an implementation known as Bytecoin.
No one had any idea who created this, and the code was incredibly sharp for a new project indicating that it had been refined for some time before that. (in stark contrast to the mess that was early bitcoin, as one poster put it)
The initial excitement over Bytecoin waned as people realized that it had been mined for years and they couldn't figure out anyone who had ever heard of it before then (early 2014). In fact approximately 80% had already been mined by the time the first altcoin enthusiasts heard of it.
Some users, including thankful_for_today, propose a fair fork of the technology but everyone was cautious because they don't want to take a piss all over the creators of cryptonote.
It is pointed out that the creators of cryptonote actually encourage others to create cryptocurrencies based off it, and do not claim it is a cryptocurrency in itself.
It is decided to create "bitmonero" and a new topic for discussion of that begins.
In future installments we will explore the initial days of BitMonero, the hasty launch that ignored the desires and concerns of the community, and the 'takeover' that brought us here to Monero today. Say what you will, but by virtue of having such a strange Chutes & Ladders type past, Monero allows us to focus on what's important: organic community growth and the technology itself. It helps avoid the nasty conspiracy theories and the "who is Satoshi" controversy that surrounds and plagues bitcoin. Some of us own a lot of Monero, but no one was shadow mining it for years before it became public knowledge. In fact, Monero is so new that there is still time for anyone to be a Monero whale. Looking at the coin price since inception no one can rightly complain they were late to the party at this point. In fact, many of the early adopters paid a heavier price for their coins than we do today. Monero is down off its all time high of around $5.00 a coin during the initial ultra-speculation that surrounded it, and it is only now attaining the next tier of awareness. The next generation of crypto-currency is here, and once you reduce and collapse all the variables you are looking at possibly the fairest launch in history of a cryptocurrency: No one has gotten rich yet in the Monero speculation phase, and everyone is still invited to the party.
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